Memories Are Made Up Of These

H~A~P~P~Y.....Yipppiiieeee

2009-02-10T07:09:00.000-08:00

Auuu....Oooooo...............!!!

Hey guys..."." yo wat's up../. how ya'll doing ?? fine , i hope.

I hve been doing great over here in batam. though its not the same with SG...its quiet ok.

Ohh...tell you what. I found a job already....though its not what i really want. i am happy to find it. I made alot of frens. They are great like you all.

And yeah...NEW BF. haha....

Already~~~~~ see ya all next time.

Cheers :))))

Rawkkkzzz

2009-01-10T21:01:00.000-08:00

It has been so long since last blog. Its not that i'm so busy but my laptop was dead and i just sent it to be serviced. Now i am free to blog anytime i like. I am sure you guys know how it feels for not being able to do what you usually do like blogging for example.

Anyway, Now i am in Batam with my Dad & Sis. Having alot of fun with them. Yes..yes I met Zack, Terry, John, Donny & My girl Xinlin here. We went out to Nagoya hill & Batam center as well as the new coastarina. I did take alot of pictures of us but i lost my camera in Taxi. This pictures below is taken by Zack, so i asked him for it. haha..:))). But if you want to see our picture while in Batam you can visit Xinlin's blog though.

Already. I have to go now. Take care you all....And hope you all settle down well in this new year 2009. Happy New Year Again. Cheers. Bye...Ya'll

2008-12-30T23:41:00.001-08:00

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

~@Home sweet Home@~

2008-12-30T22:31:00.000-08:00

Oh..guys..it has been so long since we last get togetehr like this.

I am so happy that i get to celebrate new year countdown with my old frens. Some of them are mu chilhood fren (carol, titin, rahul &daniel), & some are from high school JIHS (juuk, mario, arul, adella, andrew).
Tonight we are going to have a new year countdown party in our favourite club (our usual hangout plc too ) which is Roxy bar in Bandung...Geez..I can't wait.

this pic is taken by laura in carol's.

fm left: Rahul, Titin, Juuk, lary, carol, ariel, arul, mario, adella,& me.

My cat in Grandma's. She is like a princess. Thx God my pup Able is not there when i take this shot. Otherwise this my Xoe little princess won't be look so good in this pict. bcos usually she doesn't. She is so cute, isn't she?? haha..thx to my Grandma & her maid who hahe been tkaing care of her while i was away in sg. Love Gram & mbak nur. Thx.

This is a little buffet in Linda's house yesterday. Despite the unpresentbale presentation, they do taste delicious, though.

Haha..i take this shot in Ancol with Amber Davis last sunday. Wait...don't get me wrong ya..she is the one who wrote that. I didn't. But i do love Amber. She is like a siter to me. haha...guess some of you didn't know who she is. no worry!! i will post her pic here sometime ya.

This is my cupboard in my Grandma's house. I was the one who put my name on it. I love to stay ther so my Gram specially give me a personal room. She loves me. Hence everytime we (my family) came visit, i always get special treatment. Stay in my personal room complete with bathroom & hottub. While my parents & my sister always stay in guest room. Myabe bcos i am very likeable ya?? & beautiful?? haha..haiz...lolx. xoxoxoxoxo.

Xmas In Armsterdam...Yeah Dude

2008-12-26T01:59:00.001-08:00

, Yow..yow..yow..wat's up dude?? I have arrived in Arms 2 days ago. I just realise that i haven't been blog since a yonk. I did want to blog rite after i landed in arms airport, but my notebook battrey was flat, hence i cant go online. my apologies :).

I did have a lot of fun staying here. Thanks to Nicole, Andy, Ems, Max & Treena; who had been companying me here, take me out & show me around the town. cus its my first time here lolx. Ooopps.. don't laugh.!! I love you guys.

Its going to be whole lot funner in next two weeks. yeay...:)))

Nicole

Play a poker game..I lost!! ):

In store to serach for DVDs..Finally got SEX & THE CITY..=)

christmas eve..Rob, luke, jessie (mie), nicole, andy, max, jen, rita, don, liz, treena

Jessie > under cover. hahaha

in the andy's condo pool. >Nicole, Andy & Jess

I love you all....I will miss those time. especially when Andy always get bully by me & Nicole when he was sleeping. Sorry Andy ):. Thax for playing great hots while i was there.

Boozzz..good combination, isn't it? haha..>jess

Ems with Spiderman. "."

Can't figure it out.

smack on my face...Robbie William, dude.

We're crazy...Nicole, Andy & jess

This was taken by Ems after the Xmas eve party in Rebecca's. Great job, Ems. haha

Spot someone looks like Jessie McCartney..so i took a random pic of him inside this store

Donny with J.Lo??? yeah rite!! Can see he is enjoying his time. huhu..

I will definetly come back to this creazy town soon.

Twilight!!!

2008-12-19T02:33:00.000-08:00

Wow!!!!!!

I am officially a twilight Fanatic now.

Its all started yesterday when Ling, Amy & I watched the movie.

Ling lent me the first twilight book a day before. Ireae it overnight, basicly non-stop until i finished the damn book.

It was like as if it has cast a spell on me, causing me to be so mesmerized by the story and the flow of the whole book.After I finished reading the book, I would dream about Edward Cullen, imagining myself as Bella Swan.

And the next day I would read it again and again.Making sure I did not miss out a single detail about the book.

I was so excited to watch the movie I could feel the bubble that can't wait to be burst.Actually both me and ling also damn excited.

The Twilight movie as expected, wasn't as beautifully presented as the book.It's always like that, just like Harry Potter.

It's is pretty romantic, I'm fairly certain that everyone in the cinema were drooling over Robert Pattinson aka Edward.I bet all the guys were silently hoping they were a vampire during it wtf.

If you hadn't read the book, then maybe you won't feel that disappointed but I felt that so much was left out in the movie.For example, they failed to mention about Jasper's power.Jasper were funny and all in the movie but more emphasis should be put on how extraordinary he really is.

He actually has this power to control how people feel.Like calming down a room of angry people.I know I'm damn uncreative because that's exactly the same example used in the book.I can almost memorize every single line of the book now wtf.

Overall, I'm pretty satisfied with the people they chose for this movie.Ling didn't like Jacob tho.LOL.She thinks Taylor Lautner was too ugly to be Jacob Black since Jacob is supposed to be like cute and all.But I think it's just the hair.

Ratings for the movie 3.5/5 but a 4/5 for those who hadn't read the book.And the book is definitely a 5/5!!!!

I borrowed the second book from ling ( yes, cause I'm poor like that. Books also got no money to buy..sigh) and continued weeping through the whole book while my sis taking hours buying christmas present for mum in jewel store.

Damn embarrassing when I had tears welled up in my eyes while reading and they were so many people there.They must have thought I was a psycho.

But the second book is sooooo sad.=(

Okay I have to go continue reading the book. I'm this close to finishing it.I can't wait to finished reading it but I feel sad when I know I'm going to.Does it make sense?

I NEED A VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND.....!!!

Its all started in My Cousin house"

2008-12-13T19:33:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll...How are you all doing this while? Good I hope!! *grin*.

Anyway, i am doing great. I feel like it has been a yonks since i last blog ya. I was to wrapped in my siren song of life. I was too busy till i hardly had time to blog now and then.

Today (Sunday),Since I have nothing to do in the morning so i want to use the blog and check all your blogs to find out what you all been doing since i flew from Singapore. Thank God, everything are under control in our life. Amen. God Bless.
I will go to church service later at 1pm though. I miss you all. Everyone.....Be it in Singapore or other countries. haha...

Already,......Yesterday i went to my cousin's who just came back from Boston. I was so excited to see her, Cos it has bee a year since we met, so i went over to her house. Her name is Nicolette. She is 2 years senior from me. By the time i reach her house, my aunt (her mum) told me tt she is in the back...so i just go look for her. And I was so surprised when i see her....She is so different from the cousin i knew and who i just talked to in i-chat last month. She just bleach her hair blond, taller, she wore blue contact lenses & was laying with her bikini on. She saw me and we hug. I don't know why i was so frightened and so happy at the same time. I guess it Cos i haven't seen her for so long so that's explain Y.

So we started to catch up with each other life...mine in Singapore, while hers in Boston.
I glad that she has been enjoying her college life in Boston.
It so weird looking at her with bikini on, so i asked her why she wears bikini if she is not going to swims. Then she looked at me and grin. she said that she is trying to get so-called perfect Hawaiian skins. in other word she was sunbathing near her pool. I thought she was crazy.
Its the first time i heard ppl to get tan in pool. She is dumbass. haha....i didn't mean it. I love ya my dear Nicolette cousin. muach..

Then I noticed that she was just reading a book before i get there. I held the book and constantly i read the title "YOUR OWN WAY, LIFTING YOURSELF TO HIGHER GROUND". At first i was so surprised that she reads that kind book. Cos i know that she is someone who doesn't like to read but partying. Maybe she discover from my expression, she suddenly said "Jess, open & read the latest page of the book". Then i did as she told.

She surprised me again as i read the page she recommended me to. Its such a profound poem about our-self, which i Neva thought she fascinated.
The poem is about the Comfort Zone. I really like it though.
Here it is.

The Comfort Zone.

"I used to have a comfort zone
Where i knew i couldn't fail
The same old walls of busy work
Were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things
I'd never done before.
But i stayed inside my Comfort Zone
And paced the same old floor.

I said it didn't matter
That i wasn't doing much
I said i didn't care for things
Like diamonds, furs and such.

I claimed to be so busy
With the things inside my zone
but deep inside i longed for
Something special of my own.

I couldn't let my life go by
Just watching other win.
I held my breath and stepped outside
To let the change begins.

I took a step with new strength
I'd never felt before
I kissed my Comfort Zone "good-bye"
And closed and locked the door.

If you are in you Comfort Zone
Afraid to venture out
Remember that all winners were
At one in one time filled with doubt

A step or two and words of praise
Can make your dream come true
Greet your future with a smile
Success is there for you."

~!LIfe is Good so far!~

2008-12-04T21:07:00.000-08:00

Here i am again....I duno why today i like to blog so much. I think it just that i have alot to say but don't know who i shoud turn to.

Some of you know that this blog is like a diary for me. I said what i wanted to say here when there is nobody to turn to.

Recently i have wonderful and busy time..thx to my exam, family and frens who kept me busy ..hehe:P

I just read everyone's blog and came across Mandy's blog which says about me as we met up.

where shoud i start???

I met my fren who just came back from Australia the otehr day (thursday). she seemed so happy and she had genuine laughter (just like me *clearing throats*, i guess). A thought came across my mind: i was once so happy like her...where did all my laughter go?

Was it because i stay at home too long and spent too much time on my study until my luaghing machine became rusty??

Or was it because i was hurt deeply in the heart till..??

Whatever the answer is...it won't bring back my super laughter machine to life again anyway....

I also noticed that i recently became so quiet, not in the way that i never talk or something, It just that i feel that i am not as lively as before. as in since last month i guess...do you all notice that too??

This is not me.I'm supposed to be the happiest person alive,..I thought i was. Until i met this fren of mine. no i 'm not jealous of her because of her laughter machine. I just wanna be the way i used to be...Happy inside out.

Anyway, i just received an e-mail from my fren which said:

read carefully and understand the meaning!

Nobody is perfect untill you fall in love with them.

Love starts with a smile, grow with kisses and end with tears.

Don't cry over anyone who won;t cry over you.

What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry?

If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

You can only go as far as you push.

Actions speak louder than words.

The hardest thing to do is to wacth the one you love, love somebody else.

Don't let the past hold you back, you are missing the good stuff.

Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you will miss it.

A best friends is like four leaf clover. hard to find and lucvky to have.

Some people making world special by just being in it.

Best friends are the sibling God forgot to give us.

When it hurts to look back, and you are scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friends will be there.

True friendship never ends.

Friends are forever.

Good friends are like stars...you don't always see them but you know that they always there.

Don't frown, you never know who will fall in love with your smile.

Everything is ok in the end. If it's not ok then it's not the end.

Most people walk in out of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart.

If you love something..Let it go. it comes back to you then it yours.

If it doesn't then it never wa

A kiss is just a kiss until you find the one you love.

A hug is just a hug until its from the one you are thinking of.

A dream is just a dream if you don't work to make it come true.

LOVE is just a word until its proven to you.

Till here....au revoir,...I will update if i am not lazy...hehe:P

Exams are over!! Yeay~~

2008-12-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

Finally....My EXAMS are OVER. yeah baby....do you hear what i just said???
IT'S OVER.

Times ti relax with friends and family yoooooo. hahaha...

Don't blame me if i too over excited ok. Because i have alot of activities coming out, which will be very fun.

Can't wait.

Should i tell you all the activities i am having in Singapore before i go back to Indon next Tuesday???
Hmmmm...Ok since you guys are my frens then i will tell ya'll.

Tonite 7.30 : Go to Sarah Condo to have kind of celebration on our exam which is over now.

Saturday: Go to Sentosa with frens (Mandy, Xinlin, Yinjie, Ashley, Emily, Amy, Fiona, Derrek, Lion, JJ and Tommy). Will be very fun. so long since went there...i want to go to the UWW the most tho. haha

Sunday: Go to Church. Sing at the Youth Adult sermon service in the morning at 9. Then at 11 volunteer with Jason & Jasmine in kids service which is my fave part...get the chnace to play with those cute kids, tell them story about Lord & Jesus, Sing and dance with them, and more and more. There are going to be a lot of funs. Then i will headed to Far East with my cell group ard 3 to shop and chill. Ohh...going to watch Bolt.

Monday: Which is public holiday....., so my frens and me are going to East Coast to have BBQ again. And fishing with Ash. Damn..he loves fishing a lot just like my dad...no wonder they click so well. *clearing my throat*. Then packing my clothes and then the next morning go to airport to yeay go back home....!

That is about it. Those are subject to change tho. haha....Love ya alll......

Tiring Day

2008-12-01T23:13:00.000-08:00

I just came back from meeting my classmates (Heather, May, Tam & Phoung). Heather called me this morning ard 10.30 asked me to meet in the usual place. I reject at first because i really in no mood to go out, but they came all the way to my place so i had no choice but to go out with them. So we decided to go to the nearest McD to chat.

Heather (the closet classmate ever) asked me what is bothering me. I looked at her and said nothing is bothering me. I don't know that my face is so down that she said that my eyes speak otherwise. You know that i am not that well at hiding my feelings. But i refused to say anything abt what happened between me and my BF.

they are very understanding....so they try to humor me...they did succeed and made me smile.
Even though i am hurting inside but i don't want to effect their mood too.

Now i don't want to talk or think abt him anymore. I am done. Its up to him now...i just want to focus on my exam which is more important to me right now.
I swear i won't let him to get in my way.

Sudden Thought...

2008-12-01T12:07:00.000-08:00

I dunno why i sudenly remember this. My friends once said to me...

You don't owe him...

Whatever "debt" debt you may owe him, emotionally or otherwise, all have been forfeited when he decided to leave you.

Love is ...

Love doesn't keep scores. Its existence is not dependent on its future nor its past, it just is. (how true).

The past is only there to remind you how lucky you are to have it, and the future is only there for you to hope for.

when I am alone....

2008-12-01T10:30:00.000-08:00

I am alone now in a hotel room with a big plasma tv, a laptop in font of me, bed with 2 ppl (Sarah & Emily) sleeping on it and last but not least our bag lying on the floor (just finished packing up..yeay going back to sg tml noon).
Oh yeah..not forgetting my hot cup of coffee latte i am sipping now. SLURRRRPPPP>>>>>
Back to the topic of Alone. LOLX

Maybe this is why i dislike being alone. Bcos when i am alone, i became left with my own thought. I have been thinking about my study, my exams, my relationship with Dave, family, friends and my future part-time job ( i know im so excited..will be so fun);...and i feel i really should not be so negative about things...and my strengths Finder just told me I'm positive.

Hm mm...let's see.

Recently, My cousin (Justin tt i mentioned in my last post) really screwed something

in my life (wow sounds serious dah).

As i gave my phone to him before i went to JB for the time being,

he was like using my hp to contact my special person (Dave).

And i don't know what the heck he said in his text for that person,

when suddenly my cousin (Justin) called me but i didn't pick up.

cos i was in the mid of shooting for the film, so he decided to text ed me...

where the text msg was started with like "Jess, Trouble"...

then i was like what the hey is this means..so i asked him "what r u talking abt mister?"..

then he told me this shocking sentence which i never expect to hear or read or i received...

that is "Jess, Dave wants a BREAK-UP!!!".

I can heard my heart beating so fast and loud when i read tt.

I refused to believe him you know.

I was like It impossible...i mean Dave and me are fine when the last time we met.

so i asked Dave personally..whether its true...and surprisingly and unexpectedly he told me to leave him ALone.

That is when my heart really hurts as if someone just stabs me with a sharp knife..

i can even feel I'm bleeding inside and torn into pieces.

I love him too much that i can't imagine how i will be without him in the picture in my life. I was so confused, so i decided to call my best fren ( my mum ) asking her what i should do. My dearest mum is the most understanding mother in the world so she asked me what happened and why am i crying (i knoe i am very cool rite, for crying bcos of BF in front of my mum). so i told her the whole story. I don't know what my mum said to my cousin until that my cousin says sorry to me...yeah for what he did. My cousin told me that it was begins misunderstanding (duno what the heck that means) and with the text msg he sent to Dave. I asked him to explain the whole situation. he went on...and on...like wind blowing yet i didn't get anything from it.

My friends start notice me that i look sad.

There is one particular person (I can't say his/her name..ok just call that person A)

who knows me very well that even i dun say anything A was like "

Jessie, you look tired, you want to take a rest maybe?"

so A sat besides me..asking if everything is alright and under control.

When A saw me looking so down A comforts me "everything will be alright jess, If you want to talk abt it i am here".

A moment like that that i arelly need someone to talk to...

You know like whenever we are down what we really need is that care

showered to you from you friends.

When i thought i could share every problems with A,

I started telling A the story...I duno why my tears just drop uncontrollably.

A comforts me by saying that i deserve the better and

told me not to let the feeling take control of me.

Followed with telling me to either let go and explain things to him,

he will understands if he really love you.

That really gets me...My heart was telling me to explain everything to Dave with the hope that he can understands (the whole story).

I know i should apologise to him for the thing that my cousin did and

the rest i will leave it to Dave.

I just hope that he will forgive me, but if not then maybe GOODBYE is the best way for us. Gosh....!! i feel like crying again.

I was actualy fine and back to my normal self again after A comfort me and cry myself out until i was about to shed blood from my eyes instead of tears.

Now there is particular sentences A said to me which are so deep and opened my eyes and heart.

"Don't let anyone get into you, No matter how big it is. You still have me, your friends and family who care for you and who will never make you sad and who will be there in times of trouble."
"You know that breaking up is part of growing up. Its something everyone has to go through before meet with their own Mr/Ms Right. so don't take this too seriously. let go and move on"
"You still have big dreams of yours so work toward it and make it happen,"
"You will find God's grace in every mistakes"
"Don't let your worries overtake your happiness"
"You know that God will never make you carry more than what you can hold"
"My wish for you now is that you will get out there and getting where you are getting to, and know somebody who loves you and cherish you: and this life becomes all that you want it to"

I will remember those lines...

Thank you A..they are really meaningful to me.

Moving ahead...Moving apart

2008-12-01T10:21:00.000-08:00

Seems its gonna be inevitable. cannot even tolerate what more accept!

On a different topics altogether, i think i need to embrace opportunity and meet challenges.
O_O

Am i belong to you???

2008-12-01T09:56:00.000-08:00

I have never actually said F word to my family
But because of something i said that F word to him (my cousin, Justin)
I feel bad though....
I am quiet close to him. I really regret saying those words to him.
He came all the way from US to visits me for the thanksgiving but in the end he only get scolding from me.
I am sorry my dear cousin.

Anyway, now i am here in JB again doing some suck shooting...
Its like very early in the morning here...so cold. wait..wait....
haha...i forgot to turn down the air-con.
I can't sleep...
I can't eat...
My mind is in whirl...
I don't know what to do...
Why do i always have problems when i thought everything are fine???
I wish i were a super human...so i will never fell any pain...
I won't feel troubled....
I will be free...
How wonderful it is if our brain is like a computer ya.
We can delete anything that we don't want..

Is this a test from God for me?
If it is...i will try to be strong and face it.
I don't want to run away from problems i have like i used to when i were young then.

God please give me strength to face the problems i have..
I am nothing without you...
Only you i can depend on...
and only with your blessing, then i can face hem bravely.
Praise your name..!!

Heart Throbs

2008-11-29T18:55:00.000-08:00

As i watched your car goes slowly....

I felt that the sight of you is gradually turning din and cloudy.
My hearrt felt an involuntary jolt of wretchedness.
So sudden i was practically unprepared for it.

What i thought i had in control is finally letting loose. But i'm determined to conceal it all away.

We kissed and said goodbye.

But deep inside my heart i knew i was expecting something.
What is it i keep asking myself.

Isn't this better?
Maybe more words?
Thowe words people often say when they are parting?
Or was it more tears?

I look down at5 the steaming hot cup of coffee that i have been grasping.
Funny i almost did not feel its existence. Only memontarily.

I took a long sip, warily, cautious to not let it burn my tongue.It instantly warm up the pathway from my throat down to my stomach.
And it feels nice. I hadn't even realise that I had been shivering, not from the cold, but from something unfathomable.

I tried hard to concentrate on my cup of coffee, just so I don't let my emotion take control of me.

I did let my mind wandered for a little while.
I wandered what was he thinking?
Had he already missed me?

Gosh...this is scaring me.

I thought i would have felt better than this.
But why am i not?

"."

2008-11-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

Hey wassup??? i know..i said to y'all i wont be blogging here until my exams are over. Yet i broke my words. I just can't take it and i have to Say it out here. I want to say what i want to say...:)

Today i am supposed to go to church as usual and volunteer in kids service (like sings for them, tell short stories for them..u know usual stuffs). But..yeah BUT i didn't go because my honey want to meet me.

The meeting with my honey is not what i really expected to be. i want to say alot of things to him but in the end when i saw him i literally forgot everything i wanted to say.
Or..maebe its because i don't want to hurt him so i tend to forget about everything...?? I dunno. I really dunno. I am so confused.....

God help me....

Story behind the roses!

2008-11-25T21:41:00.000-08:00

"There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do."

There was once a girl named J and a guy named A. Not long after they know each other after an accident, A decided not to waste precious time as he wanted to spent erevy seconds with J. A always there for J without any questions asked.
A then planned a dinner for J as to keep ker on her feet.

The night started when A picked J form her house. He didn't let her walk alone so he waited for J right in front of her gate. He then walked her to his car.
A told J that she was the most beautiful girl in his life. They headed off to the restaurant that J always wanted to go but don't have the chance. During the dinner A signaled a waitres and along came out a cute cupcakes aith a dozen of roses on top of them. Then A explained to J what is the meaning of 6 roses that he given J. It meant " I want to be yours ".
J and A spent the night cathing with each other's life.

On the way back, J noticed that A was a bit nervous but J wasn't sure as why he was nervous.
Just when J reaches her house, A then opened the car door for her and out of blue he confessed his feeling to J.
J wan't sure at that time. Of course J was happy for spending the night with him, but J wasn't sure if she can express her feeling the same way as A did. So J can't reply his feeling right away, by saying that J isn't ready for any commitment or whatsoever, A then said that he can wait for her. A and J then hugged followed by kissed on J forehead. A then walked her to her gate and leaved until J went in.

J sense a great loss. A made her the happiest girl and treat her like princess. Followed day by day, A and J finally together. Since then A always made J feel alright and like a princess.

That night was everything she could ask for

Meaning number of roses!!

2008-11-25T21:24:00.000-08:00

Finally i know what is the meaning when a guy give me number of roses.
I found out from my friends Karina.
Now i totally understand what you are trying to say everytime you gave me roses.
Though it's too late but i am happy to know.

~ 1 Rose = Love at the first sight, you are the one
~ 2 Roses = Mutual love between both, deeply i love with one another
~ 3 Roses = I Love You
~ 6 Roses = I wanna be yours
~ 7 Roses = I'm infatuated with you
~ 9 Roses = An enternal love, together al long as we live
~10 Roses = You are perfect
~ 11 Roses = You are my treasured one; the one I love most in my life
~ 12 Roses = Be my steady
~ 13 Roses = Secret Admirer
~ 15 Roses = I am truly sorry, please forgive me
~ 17 Roses = my 17th birthday! =]
~ 20 Roses =Believe me, I am sincere towards you
~ 21 Roses = I am devoted to you
~ 24 Roses = Can't stop thinking about you, 24 hours everyday
~ 33 Roses = Saying "I love you" with great affection
~ 36 Roses = I'll remember our romantic moments
~40 Roses = My love for you is genuine
~50 Roses = This is regretless love
~ 90 Roses = I will love you for as long as I live
~ 100 Roses = Harmoniously together in a century; remaining devoted as couple till ripe-old age
~101 Roses = You are my one and only love
~ 108 Roses = Please marry me!
~ 365 Roses = Can't stop thinking about you, each and everyday
~ 999 Roses = Everlasting and Eternal love

Secrets I Hold

2008-11-25T21:14:00.000-08:00

I wish promises do come true
But i will not hold you to any of them anymore

*exhale loudly*
Please tell me what i am allowed to feel now

I just watched everything i made disappear from my sight and mind
From what i heard yesterday, i don't know whether what has happen was
A bad thing or a preparation for the future
My mouth may say it's ok but it's not
Every occasions that matter i want you to be there
But no matter how far we may be, i'll always be there for you
Even though i may not be brave enough to know things about you

There You Go Again

2008-11-25T11:50:00.000-08:00

LET ME JUST SAY THIS ONCE...

I DON'T consider you as my best friends, not even a friend, after what you've done to me.
Even if i want to, how can you be called as one???
If i were to call you anything, it would be more like the LOA Brat in the crowd we are in....
I am not regretting for what i'm calling you now...

Where do you get the nerves on pretending to be my friends again....
without realising your mistakes....and
When you've been B*****ng behind my back about me to others????
It's a good thing that you have your BIG mouth of yours because that is all you will have now
You think you got everything...but please...
Look again...

It's a pity that you tend to b*ch about everyone....
But then again....Everyone is doing the same thing to you...
Ironic, isn't it??

In truth..i think, its the first time i see an innocent girl from the outside but the most self absorb brat on the inside, that is full of insecurities that ends up bit*hing or bragging. *or more like both*

So give it a rest, no one wants to hear about what you family can do and what happened in camp.
At least i don't....
So bug off...
Come back when you change for the better....
For now, DON'T EVEN come close....

By the way, I really hate it when you want us to pity you....
Have some dignity...
Stop reminding me that i don't think of you as one of my friends....
because i really DON'T....

GOT IT????

Friends!!!

2008-11-25T11:34:00.000-08:00

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.

A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'Pepsi drawer' with her foot!

A simple friend has never seen you cry.

A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears ...

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.

A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.

A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean

A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.

A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.

A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.

A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.

A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.

A real friend expects to always be there for you!

A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.

A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!

When you are down to nothing ...

God is up to something.

I hate saying ~Goodbye..See you soon~

2008-11-18T17:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know how may times i have said Goodbye to my friends this year.

Sometimes i puzzle, Why can't we just stay at where we are now.

Without having to be apart with each other....!

I guess its for our own good. But i don't care...

All i want is for us to be together forever.

No matter how old we are, what is our relationship and what so ever.

For you. Ashley...!!!!
Since the first time we met. Many things have changed so do we, without questions we can see clearly that there are a lot of things which have changed without us realising, be it for good or vice verse.
Or whether this circle or our relationship has changed? I am not being emo here...
I'm just wondering.....*sigh*
I miss those days..i seriously miss those times we spent together..!!!
Yesterday...was the last day we might see each other again.
That was what i feel or think when you said you are going away.
I don't know why it strucks me so bad...you are nothing to me now..you are just my history and my friend now. Maybe this feeling is a guidefor me to know what i really feel about you now and what you really mean to me.
I hate to be apart with you...i hate the thought that we will not be able to chat like we used to.
I really enjoyed your company. You always pay attention to every words i said and sometimes you know how i feel especially when i feel troubled or when i was sad, without me telling you.
You read me like a book..I realize that No one has ever know me like the way you do.
I can't believe I'm losing you.....

I just want to wish you well.

Hope you will realize your dreams soon...

My best wishes from me to you always...:) -P

Take care Ash

With Love...Jessie (Ann)

Breath Again

2008-11-18T16:40:00.000-08:00

Have you wondered how it feels when it's all over

Wondered how it feels when you just have to start a new

Never knowing where you're going

When you face a brand new day

It used to be that way

Now I just close my eyes and say...

*I just want to breathe again

Learn to face the joy and pain

Discover how to laugh a little, cry a little, live a little more...

I just wanna face the day

Forget about the wars of yesterday

Maybe if I hope a little, try a little more...

I’ll breathe again*

Starting out again is never easy

Disappointments come and go but life still moves on

With a bit of luck

It's a brand new start

That might just work my way

No need to walk away

Don’t want to live life's replay

Things will work out fine

If you can find the courage to look past the night

To see the break of dawn

Tagged By Justin Akiyama ~

2008-11-18T00:12:00.000-08:00

Name: Neny Dwi Astuti(Jessie)
Sister: One Older Sister
Brother: None
Shoe Size: 7/8
Height: 162cm

Where do you live: Singapore....
Favoritie Drink: Fruit Juice, coca cola light..
Favoritie Breakfast: Don't Know... Oh anything i guess, as long as can eat inside the stomach..haha
Have you ever been on a plane: Yeap..Hoho..
Swam in the ocean: Not swam,walk only..haha..
Fallen asleep at school: Well depends on the lecture i attend, But so far i did fall asleep once in one of my hated lecture

Broken someone's heart: Yes..I trully sorry for that person..i didn't mean it
Fell of your chair: Erm..Of course not. I am not that stupid
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Yup, waiting my honey to Call me..
Saved e-mails: See who sent to me, if my honey or every important persons i will saved it..hoho..
What is your room like: Got abit messy..hehe..
What's right beside you: Computer Table and Chair and My Cousin..
What is the last thing you ate: Erm..Forgot already..
Ever had chicken pox: Not so luckily man..
Sore throat: Yup,hate this...
Stitches: Yupz..so ugly
Broken nose: No..luckily..
Do you believe in love in first sight: I don't know, I neva encounter one before..wonder how it feels like..*?*
Like picnics: No ways..
Who was the last person you danced with: Haha..Its you...

Last made you smile: My cutie little niece...
You last yelled at: My sister...because i accidently broke her laptop..(not a savy-tech afterall)
Today did you talk to someone you like: Yeah, i did..
Kissed anyone: Erm..dun tell you..
Get sick: why ask ths Q..stupid
Talk to an ex:Yup..No worries..we are a good friend now
Miss someone: Yeap..really miss you & my honey....
Eat: Yup i'am fat,but i still like to eat..

Best feeling in the world: Care by the person i am love with and my family...
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: nope..sorry

What's under your bed: Nothing..
Who do you really hate: Smoker, two face snakes..
What time is it now? 3.48pm
Random: Is there a person who is on your mind now: Yes..i should let it over..
Do you have any siblings: Yes..
Do you want children: Yes yes yes,i want..... i love children..
Do you smile often: See my mood..haha..
Do you like your hand-writing: love it...everyone said its nice & beautifull..haha
Are your toe nails painted: Yes

Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: Erm..no where,bec i just like my bed only..
What color shirt are you wearing now: Black..
What were you doing at 7:00 p.m. yesterday: Chatting in sakae sushi with my friends (Amy, Pam, Rico, Elizabeth & Ben)
When did you cry last: Friday...was upset by something or rather someone dearest to me
Are you a friendly person: Good Q..I guess I am..What do you think??

Do you have any pets: Yes,my house got 4 Cuties dogs..haha..
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?: At Work...
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now: Yes..
What do you think: Hmmp..think wat ???swt
Do you sleep with the TV on?: Haha..always...that leaves my mum & my sis to turn it off for me
What are you doing right now?: Studying & talking to you.....
Have you ever crawled through a window: huh??? of course...
Can you handle the truth?: Sure..
Are you too forgiving?: Yes,i will..
Are you closer to your mother or father?: Both..
Who was the last person you cried in front of?: Ashley...for silly reasons..maybe its becuase he knows me too well that i can't hide anything from him...

How many people can you say you’ve really loved?: Family, Honey, Closer Friends
Do you eat healthy?: Not really..
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: Alot....Becuase he likes to take picture
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: Yes, My honey And Pastor and Friends.. and my Ex..
If you’re having a bad day, who you most likely to go to?: No where,stay at my personal room
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: dunno o,u guess???
Are you confident? haha..

5 things I was doing 2 years ago:
~Went to High school
~Learn Dancing
~Studying
~Shopping with Friends
~With my ex-Harry

5 things on my to-do list today:
~Finished my study with good results
~Make my parent proud of me
~To-be with my honey
~Relax
~Pray

5 of my bad habits:
~Angry
~Jealous
~lazy to study
~Lazy do houswork
~Say something i shouldn't say

List things you want changes in yourself in future?

~Be more helpful

~Do more charity work

~Learn not to be selfish

~Be forgiving..Never bear Grudges

~Be more understanding

~Be a filial daughter

~More hard working

~Grow up...Stop being childish

Don't Be Afraid To Apologize!!

2008-11-17T23:50:00.000-08:00

In conjunction with ~SaD~,

At times, silly or naive actions that you dont even know may lead to unwanted happenings. without knowing, words can just hurt or pierce someone deeply and wonder if there's any chance of forgiveness. or maybe even a 2nd chance to regain back that jovial-ness we have for one another.
Things said may not be what you wanna hear but sometimes its been implied in a wrong way. misunderstanding is the word!
It may not give pleasure to your ears but it is actually not meant for you but for the other person.
Perhaps, the actions were too bluntly exposed that it hurt you deeply, it was actually my frustration and worry that i blurt it out! worried, concerned and afraid that my performance would not be good enough. thus, it led to wanting a person with a smarter brain than me was an urge for YOU!!.
My main concern was YOU!!! and no one else. Sorry for the misunderstanding!! no bad intentions or remarks on you what-so-ever. everything was for the betterment.

SORRY BABE!!!

Kisse from Roses

2008-11-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

My friends in Taipei asked me to check this youtube video which featuring Wu Chun (My Favourite pretty Boy) & Ella from S.H.E ( My favourite girl in the group).
so i was thinking of sharing it with you too guys... enjoy :)
They are just so cute together...sometimes i feel jelouse or Ella though!

2008-11-03T19:28:00.000-08:00

Cupcake FEST ~~~

2008-11-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

snow man cupcake

ewww...so cut :)) I love the cream taste on top of the cupcake. Do you see the design? i love it man. I tried to make them but i failed thousand times. Uhhh...it just not my luck i guess.

cheese cream cupcake

Xmas SM cupcake

whole cupcake

Nicole's Aunt in Melbourne who obsess to cupcake. i love her...coz i learnt alot from her abt my favourite cupcake. so sweet :)

Flower cupcake

These cupcakes are made by me, Nicole, May & Carol. Cheers...."."

From aunt Diana for her husband. @~100~@

Penguin cupcake

I love this the best though.

Cream cherry cupcake

Merry Xmas edition cupcake. haha

Flower cupcake

Star cupcake

Alrighty. That's all for now all cupcake lovers. I will sure update more about cupcake fest when i have a chance to. Cheers....but pls don't salivate onto your PC when looking at all these lovely cupcake picture ya. Enjoy..see ya'll then...:)))

SIngapore Potrait.

2008-11-01T00:23:00.000-07:00

I love Singapore. Damn ..such a beautifull island. Ash, chriss, Mandy & I went to on top on the mandarin hotel to take these beatifull pictures. check it out guys....>

Halloween Rockssss

2008-10-31T23:35:00.000-07:00

Walking down the street of Aliwal, I kept my eyes peeled for the shop that I have been looking for. Locating the street was one difficult task, if not for my dear friend Guan Jie, I might as well be lost in Singapore for good. After what seems like 20 minutes of searching, I saw the sign board "No 1 Costume Costume".

Claims to be Singapore's biggest costume shop, once entered the front glass doors, I was drowned by rows upon rows of costumes, of all colours and designs, looked almost like hollywood costume storage (except I have never been into Hollywood Movie Production site).

What's shocking was the amount of people in it, from the quiet and looked almost deserted street outside, one would never have thought what was happening inside. It was like Mega sales, only more fascinating. After walked passed the rows and rows of my dream wardrobe, I arrived at the middle of the 'shop' (looks more like a single storey mansion) where most people accumulate, to pay for their outfits and rentals of costumes.

The place was like a dictionary of costumes, anything you want, it's there. Suddenly I regretted not bringing my camera out for the day :( There're witches and ghouls, ghost and vampires, maid and nurses, fairies and devils, Elvis and Marilyn Monroe, even a fit-on Milk Carton, I even saw the gown of queen elizabeth the 1st.

Can u imagine the real thing?

With the amount of costumes rented. it appeared that everyone in Singapore is heading out partying later on. And we had a full preview of what was on that night in that shop as people of all races were trying on the costumes, not to mention extremely hot caucasions and model like girls. It just made me more anxious for the night. And so we spent almost an entire afternoon there looking for the right accessories for my friend and some special make ups for me.Once I got home, it was time for the preparation. Putting on make ups was hell a lot harder than I thought. Since my title is black widow - gothic style, I need to look the part. So the first step, bleach myself. It took me almost a freakin' hour and half to make myself look fair enough to be dead. With two sponges and half a tub of white body paint gone, this is what I achieve.

Doesn't look fair enough..maybe should add more~~~

Isn't that a nice gown? I though so.. Ha ha... I bought it in Hong Kong while on sale. It was from Morgan and I simply adore it~!!!

I had an attempt with vampires fangs, but it was so difficult to put on and it wouldn't stick to my gum, worst part, the smell of rubber made me wanna vomit, so I took it off.
Do i look scary in these ~~ see the art design on both the side of my eyes

I also put on my fake crazily long eye lashes,

a bit blur, but very long~~~ first time i wear fake eye lashes

Now my veil and flower, and I'm set to go~!! We took a cab from Chatswood to Zouk and by the time we got there at 11pm, it was already packed with people. Prehistoric men and witches were roaming the streets, the uglies and beautifuls were everywhere to be seen.

The stone age man is hiding in the corner~

White chick in tiara??

The queue was terrifying.. We stood there for almost an hour before it moved a bit.

This is me, waiting in the queue

This is how the queue looked like taken from all the way in the back

Little did I know, we were on the wrong queue all the while, this queue is headed into velvet, I'm suppose to be in Zouk. So one hour of lining up was abandoned and we moved to another que on the far other end of the club. Talk about bad luck. I was flattered that someone wanted to take photos with me when looking for the right queue, that means my make ups pay off well.

This is me standing on the other end of the queue, full body shot

It was sometime later that some kind lady came and tell me that I could actually go all the way ahead in the front of the club and queue at the "costume que" where it is short *clap forehead* I wish someone would go around shouting for direction. Actually, there have been people moving around in their loudspeaker giving out where to queue, it's just that the crowd was too big and I was at the the line were it was too long and too far back to hear anything. -.- *feel like killing myself

Up at the short short queue, I saw these two men at my side,

Bloody Butchers!!

They were directing traffics earlier in front of the club.

Man, if these were the bouncers, I wouldn't wanna mess with them

Things started to get interesting as more halloweenians (I define this as people who dress up for halloween) appeared.

Captain Jack Sparrow, if only he was Johnny Depp

Pretty girls~~ Not sure what they are...

Halloween is great for guys and girls (too bad My Honey didn't go with me), the old and the young. You can never be too old for halloween and is it the only time of the year where you can dress as almost anything. Even barely nothing~

Honey, if I'm a guy, I would bed you. (Josh, don't you wish you went to singapore with me now? Ha ha ha)

It was so crowded inside, but it was amazing. Everyone was taking photos in the first few hours of the party. The club was shooting smokey dry ice at everyone, I knew it right at the begining this would be the best party ever!

Those whitish smoke are dry ice~

Just right after this very shot, my camera battery went dead. CURSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was sent circling down a blackhole of madness, devastated that all those amazing people can't be kept for my precious view! But this was resolved slightly a bit as I started requesting people who wanna take a photo of me with them to send me a copy of the photo too. Hehe, I'm good~

This guy, eh hem, gal, er.. whatever, was one of the spotlight of the night, all eyes on him!

If I were A Boy!!!

2008-10-30T23:46:00.000-07:00

I love this song like nut...yeha...how true..Wouldnt it be great if guys know how Girls feel yah!!!

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
Id roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
Id kick it with who I wated
And Id never get confronted for it.
Cause theyd stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear Id be a better man.
Id listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause hes taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell evveryone its broken
So theyd think that I was sleepin alone
Id put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that shed be faithful
Waitin for me to come home (to come home)

(Chorus)
Its a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think Id forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

(Chorus)
But youre just a boy
You dont understand
Yeah you dont understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You dont listen to her
You dont care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause youve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But youre just a boy

ba la la la la la

2008-10-28T23:36:00.000-07:00

For GUYS:

When a Girl is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.

When a Girl is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.

When a Girl looks at u with eyes full of questions .. she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a Girl answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not fine at all.

When a Girl stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying.

When a Girl lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers FOREVER.

When a Girl wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.

When a Girl says ' I love you ' ... she means it.

When a Girl says ' I miss you ' ... NO ONE in this world can miss you more than that.

*** *** ***

For GALS:

Find a Guy:

who calls you beautiful instead of hot

who calls you back when you hang up on him

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the Guy:

who kisses your forehead

who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats

who holds your hand in front of his friends

who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have
you

who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '

Girls Fighting!!! "(Entry Abt ppl I don't know)"

2008-10-24T23:19:00.000-07:00

While I'm typing this entry post, I feel very angry!!! I don't know at whom I'm angry, because I don't even know them, I never met them, but I heard about them many times.... First of all, they are students, they are girls, just like me. But they give themselves the right to pick up a fight with anyone they want. If a girl dares to point at them in a net shop, the next day she would be beaten up by the gang.. It's normal in Vietnam these days.. Girls fight!!! (I got This news from my fren in VN). That's right, boys ain't anything, they lost their position in fighting.. Girls rule!!! *puke* Rule my a**..

This is the Girls or the Gang

Scratching face and kicking and pulling hair have become old methods of fighting. Now if you have a chance to see a fight on the street, especially in front of a high school, you will normally see the gang tearing the victim's clothes off, insulting her (the victim is always a girl), and taking pictures of her being naked while she's crying, trying to cover her body and looking for help hopelessly. It's so weird that people on the street don't give a damn about it. They rush to the fight just to stand there and watch like they're in a cinema. Some boys even cheer for the gang (WTF!!!). In the end, they take many pics of the poor victim... *(thx God i never saw it myself when i was in VN)*

@ the stupid and stubborn and useless and cruel and ignorant Vietnamese people: What happen to you all??? Hello??? Don't you guys feel sorry for her at all??? Are you deaf or blind or numb or completely disabled???

This matter still continues in VietNam. It's like .... fashion!!! Girls go for it!!! Luckily, not all the girls!!!

I have read about this many times on newspaper and online. A friend of mine sent me a link of a video taken by a girl in a female gangster group. I didn't watch, but I know the story. They were so famous after the incident that many teen mags wrote about them.

This is the story: The victim, a girl, sent a message to a guy while he was arguing with his girlfriend. The girlfriend got angry and called her friends (about 5 or 6 girls) to meet the girl and "teach" her a lesson (!?). The girl, of course, didn't understand why she was being scolded by a stranger.

This is where the victim was scolded by d gang

The girlfriend seeing her not crying, she thought that the girl didn't care about what she said (!!??!!) so she asked the gang to tear off the girl's clothes. While the victim was still very blur, 5 or 6 girls from the gang ran to her and tore her clothes while some other girls were pulling her hair.

This is where the victim was striped by d gand in d street (so cruel)

The victim was crying for help. But students from that school as well as passer-by just stood there and watched like they were statues...

When the gang realeased the girl, she was trying to cover her body with pieces of the clothes, eyes full of tears. Boys who saw the incident took many pics of her, even video and uploaded them.

A few minutes later on that forum, many comments were found.

Most of them were like :"Wao, nice movie", "The girl is cute", "Babe, I wanna f*ck you", "Find more girls and take more vids" (?!)..I am sooooo angry and I don't know what to do to calm me down...

I don't know the girl, I don't know the gang..

They ain't anything/anybody to me.. But what happened made me feel so angry!!!

ARRGGHHH!!! Yea I know, call me whateva you like (busybody?), I understand,

haizzz...Just imagine that someone you know(a friend, sister, cousin, daughter O_O etc etc etc) was abused by a group of b*tchy girls, how would you feel? What would you do?Can you tolerate? Can you? NO, I can't!!!

If I ever see an incident like this, I would firstly call the police eventhough they are slow but at least nowadays policemen in VN show some improvement (I know this from my girlfren in VN),

I would also call my friends and I would call people to help as well as immediately try to drag her out of the crazy gang while hoping my friends/police would come as fast as possible!!!

If they dare to tear my clothes, I swear I would tear their clothes also and bite their faces to death!!!

X[ Hmm talking about this, I think girls should go learn martial arts like karatedo or aikido...

Or at least bring something like a pepper spray (I have one!!! ^^)... Or simply have many friends and never go alone!!! Or... just practise running as fast as possible, who knows, one day we might need to run!!!

O_O I feel scared of the people in my country, especially the young generation,

what we call 9x (who were born in the 90s). I'm one of them but I never wanna be seen like them.

Boys dress like girls, act like girls and girls dress like boys, act like boys (or worse)...

Much love for mom who keeps trying to give me a bright future in another country.:P

oh la la, la la la la

2008-10-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone.....Im so happy~~~~~~~ today..

Me & Sarah

Dianna, Me & Sarah

Me playing billiard

what a sugar day for me....haha. Today's class is cancel coz my lecturer can't make it. I know u all must think that im silly for being happy for not having class. But tell me (really) who doesnt like a holiday right ^.^

I woke up at 5 in d morning and go for walk at 6 from my house to sarah's house (frm Yio Chu Kang to Seranggon). Yepz.....I am now in Sarah's house. yeah......

Alrite, just now Sarah just got her official transcript and she was about to apply for her uni in Queensland Uni.

It did remind me the time when i just got my official SMP transcript 2 yrs ago. At tt time i saw so happy cos i can apply for the biz schul here in sg right away after my graduation.

Im happy not bcos i like my results (hmmm.. old story )but.....*silence*.....its because i need it.

Here the stroy when i just received my SMP results. Anyway, 2 days after i got my transcript, my college asked for it.

before sending me those papers, Peter asked me, "Ei, later your mom saw those nice scores how???!!!". Hah, you aks me, i ask who?? I

answered him :" I will try to tahan her anger lor".

so the night after, I received everything. Mom was sitting next to me, staring at my laptop screen. I was ready for the worst to come

This is our conversation......:

Mom: BM?

Daughter: Passed 6C!>"<

Mom: English?

Daughter: 1A!

Mom: Maths?

Daughter: 1A!

Mom: Add Maths?

Daughter: 1A!

Mom:......... Hmm, good, forward those to your college!!!

Daughter: Err, I failed 1 subject!!! *trying to confess* (I could hear my heartbeats)

Mom: What?
Daughter: History....

Mom: But you passed BM right?

Daughter: Yes

Mom: Then it's okay

Daughter: ................................ O_O

(Well I wondered what she was reading...)

HOLY BROCCOLI !!! I mean WTFFF!!! Hello?

I thought she was a Chemistry freak?!?!? No Chemistry? No Physics? No EST?

But most of all, she said it's okay to fail Sejarah?

The only subject that I failed and never felt ashamed of myself ?!?!?!!!!!!

<"> Back to Sarah case....

Congrates girl for getting in the Queensland Uni...Yeay..I know we rockzzzzz

I love you....Muacccczzzzkkkk

Signed: The ever lovely and beautiful and talented and intelligent and g0rgeous and crazy and wiLd and s3xy and naughty and v0luptu0us and pr0miscu0us and uniqu3... and hungry Jessie (hahaha WTF) .

Apologise!!

2008-10-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

Happy time in Class

suntect city random

You & me @ My 18th bday in my house

Another bday pict

Thank you ^^

Sorry.. its just not meant to be.

Sorry for hurting you...

I know its hurt..

But time will heal....

Be Happy ok !!!

A letter for You. My Darling Mario

2008-10-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

things can never be the way we want it.

not everything can go OUR way.

sometimes there are some things we have to sacrifice.

even thou it means hurting or letting go someone else.

this is confusing me. i dnt know what im feeling.

i dnt know whether the feeling will last,or is it only at that point? sigh.

i dnt like this. i hope that what i did was the right choice,but now it seems that i took the wrong one.

im starting to regret. is this right?

i am sorry. i never meant to hurt you.

it happened.

i know its my fault your going through this pain,

and how i wish i could make it go away.

im sorry.

i never meant this to happen. i was confused and scared at the same time.

i told you i needed time to think, but you thought otherwise.

you told everyone we broke up, or to be more specific, i dumped you.

which is not entirely true.

i was confused. i didnt know what i was feeling.

i spent half my day with you and half the day with him.

i know its wrong but i miss him. im sorry.

i just wanted to spend time with him.

i never thought my old feelings for him will come back.

i spent 2 days with him and yes it did make me happy.

it reminded me of my old days.

the good old days.

my feelings were all mixed up after that.

i didnt know what i was feeling.i was so stressed up.

with my exams coming up and you pressuring me. gosh.

in the end, i made a decision you were not happy with.

i like you but i dnt love you.

i fell in love once and i would know how it feels like if i was in love.

yes it takes time. but i was afraid that even when time passes by,

i would not be able to love you like how you love me.

i was scared. so to me, the best way was to go with what you told everyone.

i thought it would be easier that way. i was afraid to try.

and im not ready to have a relationship with anyone.

to me dating is safer and easier. no commitment no attachment.

i m not ready. but when the time comes, i know i will.

i just need to find the right guy.

im still young and so are you.

sometimes i wish i could turn back time and undo what i did.

i honestly did not mean to hurt you. your so young and innocent.

and your just starting. maeb when i was with u i expected too much from youu.

and im sorry. that would be so unfair to youu.

but i did have a great time with you.

when we were dating :) your a funny guy. seriously you are.

u cracked me up every chance you get.

and u look like elmo! omg. so cute okay. haha. i still have the key chain.

its still hanging at my bag :) i am sorry that things did not work out between us.

i just wished that if you gave me the time i needed.

but whats done is done.

i really hope that you would forgive me,

and we could be friends like how we used too.

i miss your company.

u always have all those funny funny words. haha.

we're friends with the same people and we go to the same college.

so yeahh. i really hope we could be friends.

but i will give u all the time u need and wait till ur ready to be friends with me again.

even if we did, i want to take things slow. i dnt want any regrets.

i owe my friends. they have been with me from the very beginning.

they understood me and they werent mad at me for what i did.

they listened to what i had to say instead of ignoring me.

even after this incident, we're still best of friends. in fact,

we grew closer and stronger.

i could not have gone thru it if it werent for these people.

sabrina, sarah and emily <3

Loves.

Check this out!

2008-10-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

Do I Really Know You???

2008-10-20T09:54:00.000-07:00

I observed you, I noticed you and I'm afraid of you now.
I might know you well but I think I just started to know you more.
You're nice and caring, but I dont know whats inside you.
It scares me but it makes me more alert/careful,cause I dont know whats next.
Its a tough world now, unlike last time when we're young.
Everyone is trying to pull everyone down to move themselves forward.
And I'm still remaining in the same spot, never move a single step.
I shall move forward, but not harming others.
You might not notice what you've done,or maybe you do.
Just want to tell you that, its irritating and hurtful sometimes.
I dont want to hate you, I just want to continue loving you forever.
I wonder now. Wonder what people said was right
.Competative makes you evil, anyway its a reality world.
Face it or hide it. Soon or never. Settle or stay.
Whats your decision? =)

Anyway, life is good here.

HAPPY 18TH BELATED BIRTHDAY FOR ME..~ yEAY~~

2008-10-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

Now i am officially 18 yrs old. yeay..
haha..!!!!

This year, I wasn’t allowed to celebrate,
due to some reasons which can't be avoided
:( So I had to stay home that night, instead of going out partying like most people would.

But! My friends came over to spend the last few hours with me before I officially turn 18!
:D Xinlin, Sarah, Riska, Jaclyn, Weng, Kevin, Ashley, John and Mandy.
It was kind of a last minute thing.

Sarah brought Baileys!The Baileys now tops the list of the most extraordinary gifts I've ever received;
in a good way that is! ;)
How can anyone not like Baileys!
Well, maybe the boys, because all they drank that night were beers.
Maybe it's more of a ladies drink.

Oh, and she brought ballooons for me too!
7 pink, purple and white balloons and one vivid pink heart-shaped one with my name on it.Shooo sweet, isnt it! I squealed when I saw her with the balloons at my front door!

Xinlin got me something I’ve desired for quite some time!She tricked me into not getting it, but she bought it for me! slyness! :PAnd it was in a box tied with a shoelace! How cute!

Mandy, knowing my tastes and preference, got me things which she knew I will like!
And now it is proved even more that she does know me well!
The things she got me are so pretty I don’t mind wearing them everyday! Really!

So!They all stayed till bout 12 plus,
after wishing me at 12.00 pm (or maybe 12.01 am)!
I am extremely thankful that they did that for me :D
and also for helping me pack the house. haha.
No thanks to those who caused the mess! :P

Okay, here's the funny part...

I was on the phone at 12.00 pm and I had to go to the toilet.
With my phone on one hand, I wasn’t able to close the toilet door in my sister’s room properly
.When I was about to put the phone down as to close the door, Sarah pushed it open because she wanted to wish me!
I then shouted, “No! Wait!”

Hahaha!

Okay, maybe not so funny.But it is hilarious to me. That made the day more memorable!Because now, I will never forget that Sarah tried to push the door to wish me on my 18th birthday while I was about to pee. Haha :P

I love my girls!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And just when I thought Emily had forgotten my birthday,she surprised me by coming over with Tashya at about 10 plus p.m.to spend the last few hours of my birthday.
Well, technically, she wanted to surprise me, but the plan failed.
So I knew she was coming.
haha.
What I didn't know was that she brought along two brownies with my name on it! :)We talked, ate and watched 'My Best Friend's Girl'.
It was about 1.30 am (if i'm not mistaken) when Tashya fell asleep on my couch,(My couch is just too comfortable!anyone who has slept over in my house loves sleeping on my couch. haha )while Emily and I did some catching up since we haven't really talked to each other for some time.
We chitchat-ed till bout 3.00 am, till they had to leave for somewhere else.
It was a simple and relaxed night, nothing electrifying,but nonetheless pleasant and heartwarming.
Thanks for coming!
No matter how distant we can be,no matter how long we didn't meet or have a proper talk with each other,you're still very dear to me!
And you know that! ;)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks to all who have wished me!
Thank you Thank you!:D

~Don't let me be the last to know~

2008-10-20T00:08:00.000-07:00

"My friends say you're so into meAnd that you need me desperately

They say you say we're so completeBut I need to hear it straight from you

If you want me to believe it's trueI've been waiting for so long it hurts

I wanna hear you say the words, please

[CHORUS:]

Don't, don't let me be the last to know

Don't hold back, just let it go

I need to hear you say

You need me all the way

Oh, if you love me so

Don't let me be the last to know

Your body language says so much

Yeah, I feel it in the way you touch

But til' you say the words it's not enough

C'mon and tell me you're in love, please

[Repeat CHORUS]

C'mon baby, c'mon darling, ooh yeah

C'mon, let me be the one

C'mon now, oh yeahI need to hear you say

You love me all the way

And I don't wanna wait another dayI wanna feel the way you feel

Oh, c'monDon't, just let me be the one

Don't hold back, just let it go

I need to hear you sayYou need me all the way

So…baby, if you love me

Don't let me be the last to know

My friends say you're so into me

And that you need me desperately

They say you say we're so complete

But I need to hear it straight from you

If you want me to believe it's true

I've been waiting for so long it hurts

I wanna hear you say the words, please

[CHORUS:]

Don't, don't let me be the last to know

Don't hold back, just let it goI need to hear you say

You need me all the way

Oh, if you love me so

Don't let me be the last to know

Your body language says so much

Yeah, I feel it in the way you touchBut til' you say the words it's not enough

C'mon and tell me you're in love, please

[Repeat CHORUS]

C'mon baby, c'mon darling, ooh yeah

C'mon, let me be the one

C'mon now, oh yeah

I need to hear you say

You love me all the way

And I don't wanna wait another day

I wanna feel the way you feel

Oh, c'mon

Don't, just let me be the one

Don't hold back, just let it go

I need to hear you say

You need me all the waySo…baby, if you love me

Don't let me be the last to know"

OMG...I love This Song alot.

mmm...(i don't care what u say) i just love it.

Is it gonna be true???????

2008-10-19T23:44:00.000-07:00

The emotional climate today is anything but cheerful, jessie... The cards of Death and Temperance indicate a rupture or a loss that will cause you great pain.

However, before you start trying to cling to someone who is wanting to get away, think carefully what you really want.

The most likely outcome is that you will decide on a period of separation.

All this is probably not going to be that easy.

It will require flexibility, but you know very well that you need to finish a chapter before you can start on a new one.

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

2008-10-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

Please don't get me wrong, I am not trying to say friends are not important.
Instead, I just wanna express my point of views in this topic.
I was once a person who used to believe this term wholeheartedly, especially Best Friend Forever (BFF) until one day when I was betrayed, hurt deeply and heart broken, I told and forced myself to accept the fact that BFF doesn't exist on earth and if it does, only between Jesus and me.

People around me probably would know that I was very dependable on friends but all I would say is, I am not what I used to be.
It's not that I don't trust or don't care or don't love my friends, but I realise we don't own the friends that we have.
To elaborate on this, we can have people as our friends but we must know we don't possess them.
They have the freedom of choice to mix with whosoever they want and to do whatsoever they want.
For example, they can choose to mix with other group of people and leave us behind without telling us.

One of the main reasons I have changed my way of thinking is thanks to my leader who woke me up from this naiveness of seeking acceptance and satisfaction from humans. When I was very very very down, my leader told me to seek acceptance and satisfaction in God and never depend on people's words to cheer me up. Well, honestly, it's very true. Humans themselves are not perfect, and how can we find perfect treatment from friends?

All I wanna conclude is that, treat friends as how you want to be treated. I will treat my friends the best I can by caring, loving and being there for them if I can. I'm sorry if there's time I indirectly hurt anyone.

Back from Home

2008-09-28T00:37:00.000-07:00

Harry, Adyt, & Diego

Hey y'all. Wat''''''''SSS up yo???

It has been a great week for me. I'm happy that i am back here again. The trip to home is amazing, everything is very different now. ^That includes the people, My Ama & Apa, my Father, my cousins and all my family i Jakarta. Everyone is awesome.
I guess i will miss them even more now and then. I want to say something to all my family back home loud in the air...I LOVE YOU

Now...its the time for me to focus my mind to my study and my future.

Sensen & Harry

Stress!

2008-09-18T05:06:00.000-07:00

Today i received a news from my ex-boyfriend Andrew. He told me that he has been accepted in one of the best Uni in England. Of course i am happy for him and glad that he got the place in top Uni. Its his dream to go to UK to take Degree.
Andrew..I wish u best of luck and don't forget me when u succedd. JiaYou...:))
Upon receiving a happy news from him, somehow i feel a little dissapointed with myself, that is because i know that i should be working by now and earning my own money to go to Uni or help my parent to ease their burden about my sister's and my education fees but here i am still dragging my current course and still struggling to get my Diploma.

Now i must work double hard to pass all my remaining subject and work afterwards in the best Industry and earn alot of money so that i can see myself go to overseas college like UK or AUS with my own hard earning.
I know I can do it. Its right in front fo me and i will sure reach it soon.

Anne....... JiaYou...Yeah..May God Bless Me...Amen

Saying Goodbye

2008-09-15T18:18:00.000-07:00

This morning, I just came back from Airport to see my best friend (Denny) off.
I don't know why its really get me when he said " Anne, you take care alright, and remember i still here for you if you need someone to vent your anger " and he laugh...I laugh weakly. Though I see him laugh..i know he also feel sad for bidding farewell to me or us, it just that he hide it well.
Deep inside i really hate seeing him go because he is my best buddy and i don't know if i ever find a friend like him again.
Den, no matter where you are, you will always be my best buddy. yeah..i know one day i will hear you call me Chili padi or JJ again. I miss those moments when you used to tease me about my childhood in front of my friends and my family.
Damn...this is the first time i ever drop tears for you. hehe

I will miss you.
I just want to say someting to you Den. This is something that i never said to you before in the longest of our friendship of 3 years.

"I know you have a feeling for me since the first dya we met abt 3 years ago, but i rejected you many times (i recalled 6 times). I have been doing alot of thinking these past a few days...Am i cruel to you and hurt you in any way?..because despite my knowing your feeling to me, yous till regard me as you best friend and even help with all my relationship problems. I feel that i am a bitch for doing that to you. I should consider your feeling back then and don't get you involved in my relationship with other boys. I am sorry Den. Anyhow..I am happy that i met such a friend like you. God had showed me the way. Thank you Lord...and Thank you Den."

Den, hahaha..you must take care of yourself over there and don't forget to call me often or i will disown you. just kidding. Have fun and tell about your college...i want to hear it especially abt the orientation. Till we meet again..muach...thx Buddy:)......Wish you The Best Always and God Bless You.
"LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST"

From Chili padi or JJ >:)

LOVE!!!

2008-09-15T01:23:00.000-07:00

It hurts when i can't be with someone i love.
But i know i have to be at peace with his desires.
Maybe he doesn't want me to interrupt his life.
Maybe he can't deal with the burden.
But sometimes i wonder why he doesn't want to be with me.
why?? i don't know. Only he knows the answer.

There is no formula to a relationship.
They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with rooms for both parties, what they want and what they need, waht they can do and what their life is like.

Love is different from business.
In business we negotiate to win a deal.
But love is different.
Love is when you as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own.

Love is hurting sometimes.

:(

Prayer Of The Day

2008-09-14T00:30:00.000-07:00

14 Set 2008

DEAR GOD,

I can't thank you enough

for the wonderful miracle that you have done for me.

I was nothing before you found me,

yet you loved me enough to put your arms around me

and pull me from the dirt and mire of the world.

You changed my life

You cleansed me with

Your love and words,

and gave me something to live for,

someone to love and be loved by,

and something to srive for.

Thank you for taking me,

unworthy as i am, and

calling me your friend.

For this I love and adore You.

Footprints In The Sand

2008-09-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

Last night i dreamed i was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scene fro my life flased across the sky.
In each scene noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two set of footprints and other times there were one set of footprints in the sand.
This bothered me because i notices that during the low period of my llife when i was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, i could only see one set of footprints in the sand.
So i said to the Lord..." You promised me, Lord, that if i followed you, you would walk with me always. But i notices that during the most trying period of my life, there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when i needed you the most, you have not been there for me?"
Then the Lord reply "When you see only one set of footprints is when i carried you my child."

That dream really wake me up, that Lord has been with me all along, wathcing out for me from all the devils in this cruel world.

"Lord, Thank you for your love for me and for protecting me from satan or devils, for providing everyday meals, for providing me clothing, for giving me peace, for your guidance in my every decision, for your gracious to accept unworthy me and to help me get out from my problems Lord. Please forgive me Lord for the time that i have doubt in you. I was in the influence of devils at that time that i didnt even bothered about you Lord. Lord please help me to put all my effort and concentration on my study and blessed me, everyone i love , everyone around me oh Lord. In the Jesus name I said Amen."

Blessed You All.
:)

Talking about Goals in lIfe

2008-09-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

Oh dear..Its been so long since i last blog. haha

I have been so busy with all my work and study. My exam is just 2 months away and i have to study hard so that i can finish off my course. Then only i will not be a burden to my parents anymore. I want to become independent and earn my own money to continue my study. so i will have a bright future ahead of me.

I will work hard and do my best to achieve my goal. Some of you know the goals that i set for myself and somes said its impossible. But i have a vision and i will prove to all of you that i can achieve my goals one day...mmm...before i turn 25. yeah!!!!
I wont think nothing else except study, study and study.

Anne...Jiayo....:)))
Yeah..I can do it......"."

The High School Come Back!!!

2008-08-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

Study Physics in the main Hall.......

After School...Hang out!

Me and Jessie at the school library!:)

Ooooo..there is new mole in the school:) uhhh the best time ever

Lazing around in the Library~~

Sandra farted...boiii..so smelly

Inside The Classroom..when the teacher is not paying attention to us.

I want to go back to High School. Those are the best time ever...:) How i miss all my awesome classmates. I miss you allllllll :)))))))))))))))))))))))

Aiyah...also..i miss my Long hair..somehow..now i regret that i cut my hair short.

2008-06-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

well in life we have to face many inevitable portholes whether we like it or not.
sometimes we wonder why bad things happen to good people ???
then we often question God.
Why him/her/me??answer is ,God doesn't make the bad things happen to whoever.
its a cycle of life.
when He is able to put you through it, He will bring you through it.=)what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so many people say.
sometimes true sometimes not.different people take different timing to heal.
so many people have been hurt and also have hurt others.
to me, no one deserves to be hurt!
and NO one, has the right to hurt!
as for those who actually come to cause pain to their loved one share is a little something for you. YOU ARE BY FAR THE WORSE PERSON ON EARTH!
IDIOTIC! most times love is blind,but sometimes this blindness causes others to take advantage of the whole situation.
which is an IDIOTIC act if you ask me.
take a look around and see what have you caused. leave the right person and stick to the one that would forgive you for most things.
appreciate what has been given to you by that one person.
a whole future of happiness. but you just put it to waste.
relationships doesn't go smooth sailing by its own.
its by hard work it sails smoothly. even if there was a storm STICK TO THE BOAT! dumb asses its hard to imagine what she feels right now.
but i know how much it hurts.
dumb asses

Bitten twice......

2008-06-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

Andrew Nguyen and Andrew Wilson????
mmmm..What should i say?

Still confused....

I am in everyone's life jacket!!!

Soon enough.

2008-05-30T09:42:00.000-07:00

Haha yeah.....

May is going to over very very soon. Then comes June...deng deng...my exam is just 4 days away. June will be a great month. Month that will bring me to meet my family and all my Friends back in my hometown. Haha.......
Spring break in London and join dance competition some more! huh....can't wait. Will be very exciting.

Farewell party is just around the corner. I hate to say goodbye to them.......Oh no. We all will go separate ways. Amanda is going to Korea to study Design; Riska is going to Sydney Dian stays in Singapore and will be going to local uni; Andrew N will be going back to his hometown (Vietnam), My ex Andrew will be going to Melbourne to continue his degree; Kevin will be going to UK (yah UK is rock). will surely miss them....*sigh*.
Good luck for all of you.....and K.I.T........muach....

Thanks for the friendship we had. I really enjoyed the time we had together all this time. I will cherish the memories we had........"."

A Good Day!!

2008-05-29T03:01:00.000-07:00

Today dinner come slightly late. We (Sarah & Me) decided to go to this english cafe version.
I love all the design inside and the atmosphere. Also the meals are relatively good, in an apprpriate price.

Cordoury Cafe

Centerpiece

Cafe1

Cafe2

Cafe3

What the Hey ..._-_

2008-05-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

Yeah what the hey.....I'm bored to death. It's 2 o'clock in the morning and i still found myself awake doing my stuffs. Guys..i'm wonder what are guys doing now. I miss all of you.......

The hell with exam preparation!!! that's fuck. Guys lets have a quiz like the other time. That was really fun. Now it is my turn to give the questions. The question will be about guy and girl stuff.
Let's start.....

For Guys:
1. What does it mean for you when your girlfriend say "nothing"?
2. What would you do when your GF says "five more minutes"?
3. Will you hold your GF's handbag when she asks you to? yes/no and why?
4. What is shopping means to you (guys)?
5. What is the definition of sexy for a guy?
6. Do you agree that guys should be the one who pays for dating expenses? yes/no & why?

For Girls:
1. what is sexy means to you?
2. Do you agree that guys should hold you handbag when go shopping?
3. should the guy pay for your meal or you pay yourself? and why?
4. What is shopping means to you?

Alright, that is it. I can't think of any more questions. Just leave the answers in the comment box. haha...will be very fun. To be fair i will answer first. Good Luck

Forgiveness

2008-05-27T09:06:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have been reading alot of books and i came a cross this word of "forgiveness".
This is my favourite from the book "Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others".

I was thinking that I have been very childish for these past 16 years. I can't bring myself to forgive someone who hurt me inside. But the people who hurt me deep inside are the most beloved ones.
What the poit of keeping vengeance or stubornness? Isn't it better if i let it go and that will make myself and others fell happy?
These things I so regret in my life. Vanity. Why do we do the things we do?
The importance of forgiving was my question.
I have seen those movies wheere the patriach of the family is on his death bed and he calls for his estranged son so that he can make peace before he goes.
suddenly i wondered if beloved ones had any of that inside of him, a sudden need to say "i am sorry" before he died?
Am i thinking too much??? I don't know.

I realise that it's not just other people we need to forgive, we also need to forgive ourselves.
Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn't help you when you get where i am.

The most important thing is to "make peace".
You need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you.

;P;P;P;P;P;P;P;P;P;P;P;P

P-E-A-C-E

Family!!!

2008-05-27T01:15:00.000-07:00

Well, today i meet up with my high school friend back in Indonesia. It has been so long since we both catch up with each other...I guess about as long as a year..which is very long time. We decided to have a chat in Starbuck @ Wisma.
At first, we dont know what are we going to talk about. Then she started talking about her family, so i followed suit.

As you guys know, I really like to listen to Someone's story especially that is concern about reality of life.I remembered she described her family as a beautiful and perfect family.
When its my turn to talk about my family. I mulled it over for a moment, thinking what i am going to say. Finally i said "well, you see mine, all around me"..thats it.
We then talked about our love life, study, recalling our high school moments and everything that come to mind.

After I got home around 930pm, the "FAMILY" topic suddenly struck in my head and begin to think about it...asking myself..What if i dont have a family? So i did some thinking about it and eventually come out with this:
Family is most important to me than anything else. The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which i may stand today if it is not my family. It has been clear to me as i have been thinking about it.
If i don't have the support, love and caring and concern that I get from my family, you don't have much at all.
As Auden said in his poet " Love Each Other or Perish ".
I think what Auden said is true. Without Love, we are like birds with broken wings.

Part of family, is not just about love, but letting others know that there is someone who is watching out for them.
This is waht i miss the most when i parted with my father in indonesia -what i called "spiritual security"- knowing that your family will be there watching out for you.
Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame. and Not Work.

Little wonder i miss my time with my father back then, when i sat with him, there was a waterfall affection, lots of kisses and jokes and courching by the side of the bed, holding hands as he told me story of his day at work and my day at school.

2008-05-25T01:30:00.000-07:00

Today i'm just lazing around....woke up at 1.30. I have not been to Church for two weeks now.

Now i am supposed to do preparation for my exam now but here i am blogging and wasting my precious time on something that is not really important. OK im going to study now.

Oh yeah i just created a blog specially for fashion updates. However, i have not update it cus i don't have the resources now. I was thinking of making a fashion research in London next month. I promise i will update it soon......Bye........ Smile......

Jakarta New Street Style....

2008-05-25T00:13:00.000-07:00

Oh, shame on me. It's been since I last update about the latest fashion happening back in My hometown.

And I apologize sincerely, ever since i change my blog i have been really busy.

However, life is crazy, and I've been trying to keep up with a lot of things, deal with a lot of change and get my head back together. Now that I'm back in Singapore, and school is going along steadily, I'm ready to get fashion-tactic!

First post back is actually a Jakarta event! My close friend, DJ, attended the Sole Obsession event up there on Saturday night. An amazing display of snazzy sneakers, cool art, well-dressed people - do enjoy!

Special thanks to DJ in Jakarta for getting these photos for me!

DJ and Dobrotz (Jakarta Art Legend)

This is my favourite!!!

Reo

2008-05-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

OMG....I'm forgot that today is your Birthday Den (Dan Benneto).

Sorry I am late to congrate you......But its better than nothing. LOL

Man, I hope you have a good one alright and Most important is to stay healthy.

May God bless you.

HAHAHAHAHA..Thank You for being a best friend to me.

Miles

2008-05-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

Today was really a crazy day for me and my friends. we all are met up in Amanda house. There are like 14 people including me.
Actually my mum doesn't allow me to go out but but because Amanda and Riska came to my house and asked me to company them to go to library so my mum allowed to me to go out until 5pm.
I feel very uneasy to lie to my mum.
Sorry Mum..I love you and i don't mean to lie to you.

We didnt acutually go to Library. Instead we go to Manda's Apt in Raffles and have some kind of party.
I know what is exactly going on...they organised party for me because i just broke up with Ashley.
Thank you for all your kindness guys. I will never forget it.
BTW..i want to say thank to Erick..for being so supportive:)

Thank God for this day and for blessing us in this wonderful day.
I know God has something better for me..
Tomorrow will be a better day...............

Its Over!!!

2008-05-23T03:05:00.000-07:00

No more talk is needed. If that is your nature, no one can change it.

No one can change overnight. I know i am not perfect myself too.

But what is the use of talking about it now.

Maybe our journey together end here.
Thank you for all the wonderful memories u have given me for the past 7 months.

Life has to go on. Just so you know, may be it is the best for us to go our separate way.
It just not meant to be.

21 May 2008

It a dedication for you Ash..Thx for everything:)

I remember what you told me on the day we broke up, U asked me to remember you as the old Ashley i know whom always bring laughter to me and give me light to my life, not Ashley who broke my heart and made me cry for the first time. And YES i will Ash!!

I can say that i am what i am today mostly because of you...
You changed me to become a better person....
You were always there when i needed you the most...
You gave me securitiness which i can't get it from anyone else...
You teached me alot of things which i never know...
You Opened my eyes to something that i never give a damn abt it...
You guide to the God sanctuary...
You always tried to make a joke when i was down and tried every means to make me laugh again ... well even tho your jokes were all lame but i do appreciate it....
You always put me first on top everything...
You never complaint even tho sometimes i behave like a ill-bred kids (very childish)...
You always comfort me with those Holy words whenever i was down....
I love for the fact that you always protect me (tts y i always love being with you)...

Ok that all i want you to know...you left very good impressions on me...and for the rests i will just keep it in my memory.

I feel so blessed to know you in the first place and be loved by you.

I will just move on and forget something you did tt hurts me alot...

T-E-A-R-S

2008-05-22T13:18:00.000-07:00

Torn apart... That was the situation deep in my heart. WHY?
Enough of hurts, enough of white lies... Come on... End of the case.
Actually, actually I knew the ending would be like that, but I had never expected it

to happen so fast.
Really... It really hurt in the past.... but it doesn't matter...
Sometimes, some people are meant to be forgiven and perhaps left aside.

BUT
please don't treat me like a toy

Like you can just play with me whenever you feel like it
but then just leave me aside when you have others.

Memories.

2008-05-22T12:55:00.000-07:00

Oh guys do you remember my first ever hip hop dance competition? I was only 15 back then and it was so cool 'cause we compete in national level and got in the 2nd place some more. Even if its not the first place but i still happy with it.haha...:)

However, nowadays i hardly dance 'cause my friends here in Singapore don't really like dance. No..... wrong i mean they can't dance. I really miss my dance mates Dita, Diana, Christina, Merry, Anthon, Justin, Luke, Josh, Mia, Rei and alot more.

Thanks to Justin next month i can join him in dance competition in London where we will compete with national college collaboration hip hop dance 2008. That is going to be so cool. i can't wait and i really really excited. Have been practicing really hard. And thank God now i have mastered all the dance moves. hahahhhhaaaaa..................

Messed!

2008-05-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

I can't go to sleep now neither can i study. My life is such a mess. GOD help me....:)

Sorry guys for changing my blog to often.

Memories Are Made Up Of These

H~A~P~P~Y.....Yipppiiieeee

Rawkkkzzz

~@Home sweet Home@~

Xmas In Armsterdam...Yeah Dude

Twilight!!!

Its all started in My Cousin house"

~~~!LIfe is Good so far!~~~

Exams are over!! Yeay~~

Tiring Day

Sudden Thought...

when I am alone....

Moving ahead...Moving apart

Am i belong to you???

Heart Throbs

"."

Story behind the roses!

Meaning number of roses!!

Secrets I Hold

There You Go Again

Friends!!!

I hate saying ~Goodbye..See you soon~

Breath Again

Tagged By Justin Akiyama ~

Don't Be Afraid To Apologize!!

Kisse from Roses

Cupcake FEST ~~~

SIngapore Potrait.

Halloween Rockssss

If I were A Boy!!!

ba la la la la la

Girls Fighting!!! "(Entry Abt ppl I don't know)"

oh la la, la la la la

Apologise!!

A letter for You. My Darling Mario

Check this out!

Do I Really Know You???

HAPPY 18TH BELATED BIRTHDAY FOR ME..~ yEAY~~

~Don't let me be the last to know~

Is it gonna be true???????

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Back from Home

Stress!

Saying Goodbye

LOVE!!!

Prayer Of The Day

Footprints In The Sand

Talking about Goals in lIfe

The High School Come Back!!!

Bitten twice......

Soon enough.

A Good Day!!

What the Hey ..._-_

Forgiveness

Family!!!

Jakarta New Street Style....

Miles

Its Over!!!

T-E-A-R-S

Memories.

Messed!

~!LIfe is Good so far!~